I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
