Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My liver just had a heart attack.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
