I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
