How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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