we're blogging at a bar
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i think i just lost a toe
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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