It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
