And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
