I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
