hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
