funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
