Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
