$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
