have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
