Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
