I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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