You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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