And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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