He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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