so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
