I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
