I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
