I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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