Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
