dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
