Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
