All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
