So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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