he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
