you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
