no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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