we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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