i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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