I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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