whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
