I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i think i just lost a toe
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
