but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
