i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
