where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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