I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
