Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
