Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
