so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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