Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize