Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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