I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
