JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
