Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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