I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
