quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
