is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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