Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
