Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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